If you go by all of the critics, M. Night Shymalan’s career is over, the final nail in the coffin being his new film The Last Airbender, which garnered a Rotten Tomato rating of 7% (Ouch!). I haven’t seen reviews this scathing since Freddie Got Fingered. On the other hand, according to Box Office Mojo, it’s weekend gross was over $40 million, putting it at number two behind the new Twilight movie for the weekend. Whether or not this will turn out to be Shymalan’s third and final strike out at the box office depends on how the film produces over the long haul. $40 million is a good start, but it has to do over $157 million just to break even. Word of mouth isn’t good right now.
Archive for Musings
As with Mother’s Day, I decided I would highlight some suggestions for films that highlight the awesomesnees of fathers; in a cinematicly virile and manly way of course.
Commando (1985)- Ex-Commando Arnold Schwarzenneger shares a few bonding moments with his daughter, Alyssa Milano over breakfast, where he complains about her listening to Culture Club, then wrecks havock with half the west coast, leaving behind a trail of dead bodies and humoroous quips when a diposed dictator kidnaps his daughter in an attempt to force Arnold to get him reinstate to power.
Hook (1991)- Business man Robin Williams neglects his family until his children are kidnapped by Captain Hook and taken to Neverland where his repressed memories of being Peter Pan resurface and must stop Hook’s ultimate revenge of stealing his son’s love.
Ransom (1996)- Millionaire Mel Gibson turns the tables on his son’s kidnappers when instead of paying the asked for ransom, he goes on TV and offers it as a reward for their deaths.
In the Electric Mist (2009)- Tommy Lee Jones plays James Lee Burke’s bayou detective Dave Robichauex investigates a series of ritualistic killings that have ties to John Goodman an old child hood friend turned mobster, turned film mogul. When his adopted daughter is grabbed by the assassin, a crazed sex killer, Jones grabs a shotgun and gives the mob a lesson in backwoods justice.
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)- Harrison Ford’s iconic character returns to save his old mentor and the only woman he everloved from a bunch of Commies after an alien artifact in the South American jungle, only to discover he’s actually been a deadbeat dad when it turns out the teenager sidekick with him turns out to be his son and decides to do the right thing by him and marry the mother afterthey defeat the Commies and the aliens.
The Mummy Returns (2001)- Forget about saving the world from certain doom when the Arnold Voosloo is resurrected so he can unearth the Scorpion King and reign over the Earth, all Brendon Fraser cares about is that they have taken his son who has the map to the tomb and will die unless he can get him to the right temple before sundown in three days.
Batman Forever (1995)- Another great ode to adoptive fathers. Val Kilmer’s Batman takes Chris O’Donnell under his wing when Tommy Lee Jones kills the teenager’s parents, and teaches him that revenge doesn’t have to include murder, though it can contain a great number of martial art beat downs.
Taken (2008) Ex-super spy Liam Neeson heads to Europe and wipes out half the Paris mob when his daughter is kidnapped by sex slave traders while on vacation.
Road to Perdition (2002)- 1930’s mob enforcer Tom Hanks bonds with his son while on the run from his former mob boss, when the boss’s son orders the death of Hanks’ entire family for his son’s knowledge of a murder the boss’s son committed. Knowing they can’t run forever, Hanks decides to wipe out his former employer’s entire orginzation to give his own son a chance at a life.
Tightrope (1984)- Lonely divorced cop Clint Eastwood has developed a sex addiction to prostitutes, is tracking a serial killer who targets the very same prostitutes Eastwood visits which makes him think he may be the actual killer, all the while fighting with his ex-wife to keep custody of his two daughters and their five dogs.
Mother’s Day is a dayto celebrate how much our mothers do for us and how much we appreciate them for it,and for TV stations to show fluff movies and shows about how awesome motherhood is. So I thought up an alternative list of movies that show moms kicking ass and forgetting about the names.
She-Devil (1989)–Roseanne Barr and her kids get dumped by her husband for a pretty, thin woman and the meek housewife proceeds to systematically destroy his new marriage, his business and ultimately his freedom.
Friday the 13th (1980)–Betsy Palmer cuts a wide scythe through a bunch of horny teenagers in retaliation for them letting her son Jason drown.
Surf Nazis Must Die (1987)–Gail Neely buys a gun and starts racking up a body count among a group of racist, Hitler inspired surfers who kill her son.
Aliens (1986)–A knock down, drag out fight between adoptive mom Sigourney Weaver and the Alien Queen Mother.
The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996)–Amnesic single mom Geena Davis has several attempts made on her life and hires Samuel L Jackson to find out wiy, only to discover she was once a top government agent. When her memories return, she packs up her daughter and hits the road with a bunch of relly big guns.
Serial Mom (1994)–Kathleen Turner is a happily insane housewife and will go to great links to avenge any real or imagined affront made against her family.
H2O (1998)–Jamie Lee Curtis picks up an ax and goes on the prowl when Michael Myers returns to kill her teenage son.
Indiana Jones and Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008) Karen Allen returns to the Indiana Jones franchise, helping her old lover and their son stop Commies from uncovering a long buried alien craft that could spell the end of the world.
Terminator 2: Judgement Day (1991)–Linda Hunt breaks out of an asulumm and teams up with an old terminator to prote t her son from the laest model, and to try and prevent the machines from taking over the world in the future.
Panic Room (2002)–Recently divorced Jodie Foster protects her diabetic daughter from three hoodlums that break into her new home.
