Todd’s Movie Blog

So I’m cruising around Netflix awhile back looking to see if they have any El Santo movies, I have a weakness for  luchadores movies, (who knew vampires and werewolves can be defeated with wrestling moves?) and came upon a strange title, Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter. Sounded intriguing, so I pop it to the top of my queue.  Not sure what to expect, I was a still little surprised when it turned out to not be a Mexican horror film but a low budget Canadian horror/ comedy, and that it was not the late Rudolfo Huerta nor his son or grandson under the silver mask, but an actor impersonating the  greatest of all luchadores. The plot involves Jesus returning to to our world so that he can begin building his father’s Heavenly kingdom on Earth, but finds that there is a major vampire infestation in Calgary Canada.  Even worse, they have developed a way to move in the daylight.  So Jesus cuts his hair, shaves his beard, pierces his ears and trades in his robe and sandals for  a t-shirt, jeans and boots and prepares to do battle.  Joined by gun toting Mary Magnum from the militant wing of the Catholic Church and importing God’s greatest warrior against evil, El Santo, from Mexico, Jesus carves some stakes and shows off of his impressive martial arts fighting moves not only against the undead but also a group of atheists who are ticked off about his return contradicting their whole “he doesn’t exist” stance.  This is not a movie for everyone, especially if you are easily offended by the idea of the Son of God being portrayed as the ultimate fighter, or the fact that he ends up in a physical romantic relationship at the end of the film. Fans of South Park or Dogma will probably get a kick out of the absurdity of the whole thing.  I’m of two minds myself.  On the one hand it offends my deep seated core beliefs from attending Sunday School, which makes it difficult for me to accept the image of Jesus going all Rambo and throwing stakes into vampires with the accuracy of a ninja, on the other hand it is hard not to laugh when he defeats a bar full off vampires by blessing a glass of beer and tossing it in their faces or the image of him preparing for battle by eating a sandwich loaded with a ton of garlic.