Todd’s Movie Blog

As if a new PG-13 remake of Prom Night isn’t enough to drive you into giving up on new horror films all together and just watch the Universal classics for the rest of your days, it was announced that Alexandre Aja, director of the new movie Mirrors, is going to be helming a remake of Joe Dante’s late seventies horror satire Piranha.  The kicker here, it will be the first R rated horror film to be shown in 3-D.  In his statement to the press Aja talked about how fun all the gore is and how the fish will be eating a bunch of drunk, stupid college kids, with an environmental concerns subtext of course.  With all the talk of blood, body parts and computer animated fish flying at the screen (sounds like a SciFi Channel movie of the week all you need is Bruce Campbell or Dean Cain in the cast) and the usual platitudes about the deeper meaning just under the surface of the plot, Aja left out something important, like how scary the movie is.  My bet is it won’t be too scary.  Most film makers still make the mistake of equating buckets of gore with being scary (nobody seems to learn the financial lesson proved by the first Halloween or Signs, what’s suggested is more scary than what’s shown, which equals big bucks in revenue from a bigger part of the populace than just gore hounds).  When it comes down to spending what little money I have for film entertainment, I think I’ll skip the 3-D man eating fish gore fest and see Zombie Strippers instead, it’s got zombies and strippers, to quote the great Stan Lee “’nuff said.”